Personal growth courses and books often focus on looking at the positive, at what’s going well.
Positive affirmations, unicorns and rainbows.
Don’t get me wrong, all of these things are great, and I’m “Mrs. Positive” according to my friends and family.
What I’m pointing to is looking at the deep, dark corners of your Self as a way to move forwards. Imagine what would be different in your life if you stared your fear right in the big hairy eyeball; felt it course through your body, and took action anyways?
From someone who is excellent at playing it safe, I can tell you that it hasn’t got me to where I want to go. In reflecting for writing this post, I can see that the big, scary actions I have taken in my life have been the biggest catalysts for change in my personal development and outer circumstances.
- At 18, taking the leap to live in another country for four months taught me about being independent, resourceful and trusting myself.
- In a personal development course I stood up in front of 200 people and shared my most hurtful experience as a child, I got a major shift in how I relate to this experience and now don’t have any energy around it.
- When faced with a moral decision at work I went against my managers wishes and took the action my heart knew to be right.
All of these examples are of times when I was afraid. Afraid of judgement, of being vulnerable and of not knowing what would follow. The ‘unknown’ is one of the monsters hidden in the dark corners of my Self, that’s for sure!
I’m practicing not letting my fears run the show and instead I am taking the action that feels scary and makes me vulnerable. It’s not easy and I’m certain I’ll have much more to share about on this topic as I continue to choose from a place of power instead of fear.
How can YOU conquer YOUR fears?
- Simply notice your fear coming up.
Start small and notice when you are scared. What do you feel in your body? A shortness of breath, butterflies in your stomach or tightness in your shoulders and jaw might be sensations you notice in your body when confronted with fear. Simply notice your fear. Say in your head or even out loud, “Wow, I feel (insert body sensations here) right now.” Doing this will build a muscle allowing you to notice more and more where your fear is stopping you.
- Acknowledge the fear.
Fear is a gift where our body lets us know we are out of our comfort zone. Outside of the comfort zone is where personal growth, transformation and playing big happens. You know the old saying “what you resist persists”. Resisting fear keeps the fear bigger than you. Acknowledge that the fear is there and be grateful you have an opportunity to grow yourself closer to your true self.
- Choose from love.
When you are aware, you are able to make a choice: take action from fear or choose to come from a place that empowers you. A place of power, love, compassion or whatever that place is for you. Create your next action from this new place.
The more you practice these steps, the more you will build your ‘fear noticing muscles’ and have greater choice around how you are being in the face of your fears.
What fear in your life is holding you back? What actions would you be taking if you came from a place of love; felt your fear and did ‘it’ anyway?
If you would benefit from someone to partner with you to overcome your fears, I’m happy to help. Contact me to schedule a sample session and we’ll take a look together.
Happy muscle building!
Personal Coach for Soulful Working Women